11 common reasons to buy something
11 common reasons for consumers to buy a product:
- To get more money / save efforts
- To feel safe / peace of mind
- To feel loved
- For positions and credits
- For health
- To get appraisal and compliments
- For power & fame
- To be unique or special or to feel significant
- For love/friendship
- For self-development
- For a change
If a product can satisfy at least 3 of these needs (rule of 3), there is a pretty good chance that people will love the product. Some examples of products that people love:
- Apple Products: 2, 4, 6, 7
- Social Media: 3, 4, 6, 7, 9
- Linkedin: 1, 4, 7, 10, 11
- Branded Goods / Luxury Watch / Cars: 1,4,6,7
- Healthy Lunch Bowl: 2, 5, 6, 10
Why do we give feedback and how to give a quality one?
A.Why Bother to give Feedback?
Different aspects of communication lay claim to being the most important: listening effectively or building trust, for example. Though these are important, the critical skill for me is feedback, both giving and getting. Effective feedback has benefits for the giver, the receiver and the wider organisation. Five reasons why feedback is perhaps the most important communication skill.
1 Feedback is there all the time
Feedback is a good mechanism to continuously improve yourself, your team, and your organization. It is really impossible to avoid giving or getting feedback if you work in a team, or manage a team, or serve your clients.
2 Feedback is just another word for effective listening
In order to give feedback, you must actively listen. In order to give effective feedback, you must understand what the other person is trying to communicate or do, and only then provide your feedback.
Giving feedback effectively means in one sense simply providing both aspects; for example, showing understanding – ‘I see.’ or ‘OK. I have the same issue.’ – and expressing appreciation – ‘That’s important because …’ or ‘That’s very interesting because …’.
3 Feedback is an opportunity to motivate
Positive feedback is another word for praise, and is all about taking the opportunity to express appreciation of a job well done, in the hope of inspiring an individual to do many more jobs even better. Too few leaders, managers and colleagues find time to express thanks to others for something well done, missing the opportunity to inspire greater positive feeling and commitment in those already performing well.
4 Feedback is essential to develop performance
For many, feedback is something akin to criticism or attack. Perhaps this is why it is seldom practised with any enthusiasm, and certainly anticipated with less. Yet feedback is not criticism, it is a supportive act intended to deal with under-performance in a constructive way and to develop performance to a higher level. The language which we use is important here; not, ‘You didn’t do …’ but rather ‘If you had done xxx, it would have …’ or ‘The customer wasn’t very happy. What else do you think you could have done?’
5 Feedback is a way to keep learning
Working internationally, which often entails working with high levels of cultural diversity, business complexity and within virtual teams, means we are likely to get things wrong from time to time. We will assume things incorrectly. We will communicate in ways which are confusing and possibly impolite for others. The only way to make sure we don’t continue making the same mistakes is to get feedback. Invest time in asking and learning about how others experience working with you – ‘What do you like about the way I work and what don’t you like?’ You might find it tough to listen to others’ sometimes ill-founded opinions about your behaviour. But it is what it is; an opinion and not a fact.
B. Giving Quality Feedback
Quality feed back should be :
- Timely: Feedback should be given as soon as possible. Feedback is less useful if it is given too late, where the receiver might forget what he did, or what was the exact context. Our perceptions of the past might differ from reality by having distorted memories.
- Specific: A feedback should be very specific to a certain aspect, whether it is the tone of voice or body language, it should be said with concrete and detailed examples.
- Observable: Feedback should be objective instead of subjective. It means that it should contain at least one observable behavior and the perceived impact on you or others.
Example of my favorite structure:
I observed that the body was stiff at the beginning of the talk and was more natural towards the end. That made me feel uncomfortable at the beginning, and normal towards the end. The implication for this is: the speaker was nervous at the beginning and was more confident at the end. The learning point is: to try to use hand gestures to express your thoughts, even when you are nervous.
Lead without command
My grandfather, Ex-Major General Nguyen Duy Bi, spent 40 years in the People’s Airforce and Air Defense of Vietnam. He was one of the few sent to Soviet Union to pick up new missile technologies and later helped to defend North Vietnam in Operation Linebacker II (B52s).
I visited him last year when he was in the last stage of Alzheimer. He didn’t remember anyone, occasionally thought the war was happening and considered me his soldier. He would tactfully dodge all questions I asked, and literally every 5 minutes, put his hand on my arm, look me in the eyes, check if I miss home, and comfort me that the war will soon be over. Or he would walk around, ask how each of us was doing, notice the “army base” was not clean, and inspiringly convince me to clean the “base” without using any direct command.
And I started to understand why he became the leader of 20,000 soldiers: his natural urge to take care of his own team, and the ability to inspire, to lead without any command became part of him. They have always been in his subconscious mind, and those skills are being used instinctively, even when my poor grandfather lost his short-term memory.
That is really powerful, and who wouldn’t want that?
Now, ask yourselves, which skills would you need to get into your subconscious mind?
Mấy ngày trước Tết
Chuyện mấy ngày trước Tết
1. Ngày này 10 năm trước.
Tôi vẫn còn nhớ những ngày trước Tết 2009, tôi đang cắm đầu học mười mấy tiếng một ngày. Mỗi thứ bảy chủ nhất, tôi đều thức dậy lúc 8 giờ sáng, học một lèo tới 12 giờ trưa, ăn trửa khoảng 1 tiếng, ngủ trưa 20 phút rồi lại ngồi học đến 6 giờ tối.
Sau đấy là tắm rửa nghỉ ngơi ăn uống đến khoảng 8 giờ tối, chơi 1 trận DOTA với AI để thỏa mã cảm giác God-like, rồi lại học tới tầm 12 giờ và đi ngủ. Một kế hoạch hết sức phản khoa học. Tất cả chỉ vì ước mơ cháy bỏng được đi học nước ngoài: ngày thi tuyển vào NTU là chỉ một hai tuần sau Tết.
Suốt cái Tết năm đó tôi tiếp tục lặp đi lặp lại cái lịch học mọt sách này. Và rồi như một trò đùa, vào ngày Cá Tháng Tư năm 2009, tôi nhận được cuộc gọi báo tin mình đã trúng tuyển. Tôi nhảy choi choi như một thằng điên vì sung sướng.
Và tôi cũng không thể ngờ rằng cuộc gọi đó đã thay đổi toàn bộ cuộc sống của mình: 10 năm tại Singapore chỉ băt đầu từ cái Tết mọt sách năm đó.
2. Ngày đấy 10 năm sau
Thật trùng hợp khi đúng 10 năm sau, vào những ngày trước Tết 2019, tôi cũng lại vẫn đang cặm cụi học suốt cả những ngày thứ bảy chủ nhật. Tết này không về Hà Nội ăn Tết được chủ yếu là do công việc và cũng một phần lớn là vì việc học. Cũng may là một vài anh chị em khác cũng không về được nên tụ tập nấu ăn cùng nhau nên cũng vui hơn. Học hành vất vả kết quả thì cũng chưa biết tới đâu, cũng chưa biết nó sẽ đem đến những cơ hội gì, hay gặp được những ai…
Nhưng tôi tin những hy sinh trong suốt thời gian này sẽ lại dẫn tới những cuộc gọi lịch sử khác. Biết đâu những thay đổi trong 10 năm sắp tới lại bắt đầu từ cái Tết xa nhà năm nay?
3. Vài lời chúc mừng năm mới
Tiện đây, tôi xin phép được chúc tất cả bạn bè, anh chị em, có một cái Tết vui vẻ và đầm ấm bên gia đình, bạn bè và người thân. Chúc những ai không có điều kiện ăn Tết cùng gia đình, sớm đạt được những điều mình mong muốn và sớm có nhiều cái Tết trọn vẹn hơn. Cũng xin chúc những hy sinh của các bạn sớm được đền đáp và sớm cho ra quả ngọt.
Và hơn hết, chúc những ai đã và đang ở bên gia đình và người thân, có một cái Tết rất trọn vẹn và ấm áp. Có rất nhiều người ao ước được ở bên gia đình vào những ngày như thế này, ao ước được dọn dẹp nhà cửa, được đi mùa đào mua quất, được cuốn nem, rửa măng, chặt gà, rửa bát, tiếp khách, ăn uống nhậu nhẹt…Đồng ý rằng mấy việc này tốn rất nhiều thời gian và rất mệt mỏi, nhưng đó cũng là truyền thống và cũng là một phần tất yếu của Tết, nên có khi thiếu những việc này là thiếu Tết đấy.
Tết 2019
On communicating effectively
On Leadership
- To become a good leader: Say what you mean(clarity) and mean what you say ( integrity)
- To do well in leadership: Work really really hard. When you see someone winning at the court, with a small folder of documents, it is just the tip of the iceberg. He has spent tons and tons and tons of effort in researching the case, and that's the iceberg that no one sees.
- We are living in this world, where everyone is the same or looks the same. It is alarming that some of us are concentrating too much on grades/achievements, and not having fun. It is really important to be truly yourself, and have more fun
3 keys to thinking, writing and speaking effectively:
- Good Judgement - It should answer the right questions.
- Conciseness - If you can't simplify it, you don't understand it.
- Clarity - There should be a central governing thought that leads to a simple structure to follow.
Giving Quality Feedback
A quality feed back should be :
- Timely: A feedback should be given as soon as possible. A feed back is less useful if it is given too late, where the receiver might forget what he did, or what was the exact context. Our perceptions of the past might differ from reality by having distorted memories.
- Specific: A feedback should be very specific to a certain aspect, whether it is the tone of voice, or body languages, it should be said with concrete and detailed examples.
- Observable: A feedback should be objective instead of subjective. It means that it should contain at least one observable behavior and the perceived impact on you or others.
Example:
I observe that the body was stiff at the beginning of the talk and was more natural towards the end. That made me feel uncomfortable at the beginning, and normal towards the end. The implication is: the speaker was nervous at the beginning and was more confident at the end. The learning point is: to try to use hand gestures to express your thoughts, even when you are nervous.
Task and Relationship Objectives
Before any form of formal communication, we should understand the current context, and different pressures that all involved parties are having, then come up with the following objectives:
- Task objectives: What do we want to achieve after the communication? What do you want him to do?
- Relationship objectives: What do we want the other person to feel after the communication? Do you want him to feel motivated or unmotivated, happy or unhappy, eager or hesitant?
Based on the objectives defined above, we should be able to form an influence strategy that dictates how we are going to approach the influence attempt.
11 steps to master anything
Basic steps
1. Learn in context
Find practice opportunities that are in or could fit into your existing life and work, now.
2. Analyze examples of good
Identify people who are good in a skill. Understand in detail what makes them good. Ask them what kind of mindset and habits they have which made them good.
3. Set stretching but doable goals
Deliberate practice – practicing one’s learning edge – sets master musicians apart from those who are equally proficient technically. A more basic way to practice is to set objectives for the practice and check whether the objectives were achieved and why.
4. Get feedback
Ask for feedback on how you did against set goals at every opportunity
5. Get peer support and pressure
Learning together with others creates both push and pull for practice. There is peer pressure to keep up, and the positive energy from overcoming challenges and achieving new heights together.
6. Build capacity for practice
A runner builds up the physical and mental ability to run a certain distance at a certain speed over time. Similarly, frequency and intensity of practice (e.g., X times a day or week, to what level) need to be built up.
Advanced steps
7. Get a coach
Good coach can guide you on what and how to practice, and also what prevents you from practicing more effectively.
8. Build critical mass
Learning occurs in spurts not straight lines. When practicing, be patient to build up the critical mass of practice to achieve the current step function. Don’t give up prematurely.
9. Practice until there is “Muscle memory”:
Physical human motion is mostly subconscious. Mastering a mental skill similarly means that you can do it subconsciously. Depending on the complexity of the skill, mastery requires months to years of intentional practice.
10. Breadth not just depth
For many complex business skills (e.g., how to influence people) there are 10-12 related skills for proficiency. A critical mass in both breadth and depth needs to be achieved.
11. Multi-realm learning
The most effective learners of new skills are multi-realm learners. They consistently and intentionally develop skills in at least 3-4 different fields across multiple years, and in some cases decades. This helps to, over time, build a massive library of patterns across areas which they draw on as needed for inspiration and stimulus when faced with unfamiliar problems.
3 vital elements of business communication
When communicating something, usually there are 3 different factors we would want to consider:
- Now vs Later
- Direct vs Indirect
- Explicit vs Implicit
Now vs Later
| Now | Later |
|---|---|
| Issue absolutely needs to be addressed at this time | Can be / better addressed later |
| Receiving person ready to receive | Receiving person not ready |
| You have sufficient info to form reasonably robust judgment | You lack sufficient information |
| Receiving person prefers to know things early and clearly | Receiving person prefers to know things when things are firm |
| Receiving person is decisive | Receiving person likes to keep things open |
| Critical mass of conditions for the achievement of influence objectives exist | Conditions for the achievement of influence objectives do not exist |
Example tactics / phases for “Now”
"I get the sense it is better for you to know now..."
Example tactics / phrases for “Later”
“Since I am not sure yet, I would like to think it over a bit more”
“It would be better for me to get a bit more input first”
“This requires more deliberation by you and I. Let’s sleep on it a bit”
"At the right time, I will let you know"
Stay silent on information/ view
Direct vs Indirect
| Receiving person deals more effectively with direct communication for the specific issue | Receiving person less likely to cope effectively with the message if communicated directly but (s)he needs to know |
| You want no room for mis-interpretation of your point of view | Issue is complex and 2-way dialogue to explore issue will help receiver grasp the messages better or more completely |
| Person absorbs messages quickly and well | Person needs time to absorb messages Or messages are better understood deductively after data are given |
| Person does not mind being told difficult | Person wants to come to realization messages themselves |
| Receiving person values efficiency & speed | Receiving person values completeness and context |
| Direct | Indirect |
|---|
Example tactics / phases for “Direct”
"May I have your permission to give you some direct feedback on x?"
"So as to avoid any misunderstanding, let me state my view/position on x plainly..."
"We unfortunately do not have the luxury of time for fullness of everyone's views to be shared.
Would anyone mind very much if I were to jump the queue to share my position / hypothesis on
x?”
"I haven't landed on where I'd bet my money on this, but here's my leaning...."
Example tactics / phases for “Indirect”
“Help me understand…”
“It is a surprise to me…”
“I am having a little bit of trouble understanding…”
"I guess I hear many of us are saying that...Is there another way to go think about this?"
“I observed you do X, and it made me think Y and feel Z.”
“It seems there are multiple forces at work. I can think of A and B, what is coming up for you?
“What do you see in this situation?” “What’s the way forward?”
“What did we do (or not do) that contributed to ____ [outcome]?”
“What could we, you, I have done (do) to shape a more successful outcome?”
“How often is this a problem? What are we going to do to fix it?”
“How certain are we about the issue and/or solution?”
Explicit vs Implicit
| Explicit | Implicit |
|---|---|
| Receiving person deals effectively with explicit communication for the specific issue | Receiving person deals effectively with implicit communication for the specific issue |
| You want things to be on the record | Sensitive and high stakes issue where commitment to a position might be costly |
| Receiving person doesn’t take things personally | Receiving person is insecure / nervous and might feel attacked by explicit, direct communication |
| Person does not mind being told difficult issues | You want to see what someone is aware of, and how they make sense of things |
| When you have doubts about your own intentionality or how deliberate you want to be | |
| When they want to hedge or remain flexible in some aspect of the communication |
Example tactics / phases for “Explicit”
“Let me be on record to say...”
“I know it’s a difficult issue for us to address, and it pains me to raise this, but for the good of the
company, it is my responsibility to point out…”
" I am sure the results will turn out alright".
" I know I can trust you the most so I am going to tell you..."
Example tactics / phases for “Implicit”
"I have full confidence that you will deliver the results".
"I am not going to tell this to anyone else but you"
“What could this mean to us if we don’t know about/have X?”
“If everyone did (X undesirable behavior), where would that leave us?”
“Can we afford not to do X by Y time?”
“How would this view jive with our values (aspirations, commitments, responsibilities)?”
“What would our founder have said if he is still with us?”
"This reminded me of another situation.... This was what happened..."
“What does the foregoing discussion add up to?”